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Secret Death Touches

by Rosaria Wetzell (2020-08-10)

How to Enforce Personal Secret Death Touches Boundaries If someone speaks to you disrespectfully and you have just deemed it as unacceptable, you need to determine what you will say or do the next time it happens. Here are some options (none of which include guarantees): "When you speak to me in that tone of voice I feel like you don't respect me. Is that how you wanted me to feel?" In this response, you are putting the ball in the other person's court. They have two options: confirm they wanted you to feel bad or apologize and change their behavior. Note: Remember that you are not saying, "You make me feel... " because no one can make you feel a certain way without your permission. That means they can inspire or threaten you into feeling a certain way but you are in control of your own feelings. (This is uncomfortable for some people to swallow because it means taking responsibility for their thoughts, behavior and current situation in life.) If your teen is speaking to you disrespectfully, you may choose to be more forceful in saying something like, "Speak to me with respect. Anything else is unacceptable." The key is determining what you will do or say ahead of time. This is how we protect ourselves. Establishing personal boundaries includes figuring out how we handle the boundary breakers. The best part is that since you know what is acceptable and unacceptable, you can see when someone is getting close to "getting in your space" or "crossing the line" so that you can prevent it!

How Does Secret Death Touches Work?